2022 — The Year of Little Things and Spontaneous Decisions

Koyum Kolade Afolabi
7 min readJan 4, 2023

We often fail to recognise all that occurs in a calendar year.
To avoid missing any significant update while I write about the year, I scrolled through my gallery after reading my 2021 year-in-review article for ideas and direction on this article.

I know I’m late, as you must have read a few end-of-the-year articles.
I’ve decided to write this article because not only perfect stories deserve to be written. And most especially, because I am grateful. I admit that it could have been a better year, but I also can’t deny that it was good enough — especially after going through the thousands of pictures in my gallery. Alhamdulillah!

I served my fatherland for the remaining 10months+, and I worked another full-time job. I won’t bore you with too much information by breaking down how each month went, so I’ll write the most necessary information and lessons I want to share, under random headlines.

I served Nigeria o.

My Career

I’ll call this aspect of my 2022 “ Growth, Progress, and Rejection.”

An excerpt from my 2021 article.

By that metric, I didn’t hit my career target. But I’ll be stupid if income is the main metric I judged my career on — especially as 2022 went.

I grew significantly during the year. I had a job as an Engineering intern that I had to do (serving my fatherland), another one as a Communications Manager that I loved to do (the startup where I work), and a final one as a freelancer (because I didn’t make enough). It wasn’t easy because my life isn’t just about jobs or (a) career(s).

A whole Graduate Member of The Nigerian Society of Engineers. Hehehe.

But despite the stress and commitments, I grew.

I wrote better content and communication briefs, developed sharper strategies, delivered faster, led more diligently, optimised processes, and did better work all-round.

Time, effort, and dedication were the factors that made me do better. Some tasks got easier because they were familiar; which made me understand better, why experience is very essential.

I also delivered well because of the effort and dedication I put into my tasks. I didn’t mind that it took reading 1000 words just to write 50. I didn’t mind that I slept for 3 hours instead of 8. What was most important to me was delivering well — at least to the best of my abilities.

And that was why I rejected some jobs even when they would have made me extra cash that I really needed.

If I ever underdeliver, it’s likely because that’s the best I could do and not because I didn’t put in enough effort. I live by that principle.

I had opportunities I didn’t take because they were not enough. I had rejections too. The outright-rejections weren’t as painful as the almost-ones. You know those kinds that you scale through all the stages of interviews and you were almost sure to get the opportunity? Yeah, I had a couple of those.

But whatever, we move.

My friend says seeking better opportunities is like “fasting”; when you finally break your fast, you’ll forget that you were ever hungry. So I’m just going to keep taking this pre-big-break period like my fasting period. Firstly, because I soon will forget that I starved, but most importantly because break time will always come; whoever fasts, breaks their fast. I hope I break too, soon.

So, surely with hardship comes ease.

Surely with ˹that˺ hardship comes ˹more˺ ease.

Qur’an (94:5–6)

On Self-Awareness and Being a Hard Guy

It takes self-awareness to know that you’re self-aware. I know that I am. If you know me, you’ll agree too (except you’re a hater). 😹

But I also know that self-awareness is not a destination but a journey. Your experiences will change you, your environment will influence you, genetics and age will do their thing, and destiny will kick in too. You can’t reach the point of absolute self-awareness, you just have to keep observing and knowing.

I didn’t stop learning about myself in 2022; I became humbler, asked more questions, and studied patterns better. Those are some of the things I want to do better at, this year and in the coming years, In sha Allah.

But something little happened to me in 2022 that almost broke me. It’s crazier because this experience may not have broken even a “weak” person. But lol. I got anxious, literally felt my heart ache, got insomnia, got nauseated, and finally threw up.

The day of the occurrence was when I retired from being a hard guy, and I never stopped wondering. The whole issue didn’t even last for days, but I’ll never forget it. I needed that humbling, and I’m grateful for the experience and the revelation. Who would have known?

I don’t know if I’m strong or if life has just not tested me yet.

This I-want-to-know-everything attitude also revealed one of the most shocking things about myself (health?). It happened in the last days of December, so I’m still processing it. But it’s not pleasant news.

Hobbies

I didn’t do much of what I love to do. I’m writing about this here, so I’ll hold myself accountable.

Of course, I could give the excuse of me being busy, but the truth is I’ll always be busy, as I’m a man fighting for his life.

To stay connected to all these things that make me happy, I need to make sacrifices. I’m ready to take up some habits again, even if it means rejecting some jobs, cutting down some activities, cutting my screen time by at least 1/4, or hiring an assistant 🤡.

Now hiring: an assistant with 0–4 years experience. I’ll pay with good memories.

On Family

I’m grateful for my family, and I love them so much. But I love differently now — more consciously, I’ll say.

It’s easy to love your parents and siblings when you see them as infallible and perfect. The work is in loving them despite their flaws.

2022 revealed so much to me about the people I love. A combination of understanding, responsibility, forgiveness, empathy, and willingness — either retained their love in my heart or grew it. We’re all imperfect humans with never-ending human problems — I understood that to a further level, and it helped me. I realised how difficult it is to maintain ties, and I guess that’s why it is so rewarding?

You need to look beyond some siblings’ (read: parents and uncles/aunts) conflicts and maintain your relationship with your beautiful cousins. You have to convince yourself that a family member blocking you unprovoked on Instagram/WhatsApp doesn’t mean anything, lol. You have to find perfect ways to correct bad behaviours without putting your relationship with them on the line, and there are things you just have to take like that; as long as they are bearable and won’t hurt.

That’s the price we pay for having a family… the one we will never stop paying.

Friendship

On this, I’m fortunate. It’s as simple as that.

And I’m grateful. Very grateful for my friendships.

2022 was also a year of moving on and new beginnings. I made a few new friends and confirmed the loss of a few others. I’m never happy to lose friends, but it’s a part of life that needs to happen.

It was a year of little things and spontaneous decisions.

I took unplanned trips, spent all my money, drove without a destination in mind, sent love letters, read a ton of articles, came through for my friends, shared a gallery of memes, made mistakes, and most pleasingly, made significant progress in a crucial aspect of my spiritual life. Alhamdulillah.

I saw Arsenal improve this year. I travelled to the capital to watch us miss a place in the World Cup. But it’s fine ‘cos I saw the Greatest Footballer Of All Time — Lionel Andrés Messi — win the World Cup.

Who’s your GOAT?

As I write this, I don’t have radically different plans for 2023.

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If things happen as I see them, 2023 will be a great year for me. It’s going to be a year of many firsts and bold decisions. And I’m going to enjoy it and laugh hard. So help (and bless, preserve, guide, protect) me, God. Amen.

I’m not about to have a great year alone, so I wish you a great 2023 too.

Thank you for reading!

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Originally published at https://kkawesome.substack.com on January 4, 2023.

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